Im writing my first post via cell phone, so please bare with me and be kind enough to overlook any errors in spelling!
For months now, ive been feeling the sorrowful, sneaky, pull of weight creeping back over my bones….and have truly done nothing about it other then to complain, a lot, and make half-assed efforts at random fad diets. In 2009, I graduated from nursing school. My picture, much to my dismay, was published in a local newspaper. There I was, in cap and gown, with my loving children in tow, smiling, proud of my accomplishment….and carrying enough extra weight that I was damn near unrecognizable to myself. I weighed 287 pounds. Yep, the heaviest I have ever been. I knew something had to give, so I followed the advice of a co-worker and got on Adipex. Long story short, by the summer of 2010 I had lost almost 100 pounds. Thats great right?! Well, no…my hair was also falling out by the handfuls and I was an emotional train wreck. I stopped the Adipex. By November 2010, I was back up to 235 pounds. Got back on Adipex, became an emotional wreck again, got off Adipex. My weight held steady for a while, but by July 2011, it was creeping up…again. I decided to throw caution in the wind (because im just that bright) & dont ya know started taking Adipex AGAIN, but this time I cut carbs and put in 7+ hours a week at the gym, doing cardio and tons of weights. The pounds melted off and by October 2011, I was down to 205 pounds, but had developed quite a bit of new muscle. HOWEVER, emotionally, I was still all over the place and felt exhausted most of the time, thanks to the stimulant effects of Adipex. Feeling as though I had learned,my lesson, I stepped away from the meds again. My energy levels plummeted, my appetite soared, and I found myself going to the gym less, and less and eating more and more. You should also know I have PCOS, Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which is a hormone imbalance that increases insulin resistance, causes hair loss as well as facial hair growth…yay, me! Nothing quite like being hungry all the time, growung chin hair and going bald all at once. PCOS also causes irregular periods and infertility….and ironically, having PCOS makes it incredibly easy to gain weight and its the weight gain itself that worsens the symptons of PCOS. So mix that with the fact that I am a self-proclaimed emotional eater, who is always hormonally imbalanced and VOILA, here I am just over a year later and just 20 some odd pounds under my heaviest weight. And im angry, and im heartbroken. Im disappointed in myself and my lack of self-discipline and self-control. I weigh 260 pounds right now. Im fighting my second cold in 2 weeks. Im ALWAYS tired and my feet and ankles hurt more than they feel good. Ive also began missing periods again and my hair loss has started back full swing. So ive decided, thanks to inspiration from my younger sister, Jenny, to make my journey to a healthier, happier, me a public journey. I cant do this all alone and I refuse to look to pharmecuticals for assistance again. I cannot continue “fad dieting” or taking supplements with empty promises. I know a few things are true: 1) my everyday choices must change permanently 2) if they dont, I will die a premature death fat, sad, and loaded up on prescription drugs 3) I have children who I need to be a better example for so that hopefully they never find themselves in this position, and finally, 4) there IS A SLENDER, FIT, ACTIVE, SEXY BEAST dying to come out of me! So please, follow me, if you know me personally, im asking for your support and encouragment. And if u need to shapeshift too, call me, lets walk and swap recipes 😉 So here I come world…ready, set….GO!
So here are my current stats:
Weight: 260 pounds